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星期四, 11月 13, 2008

想用christian名,請小心!!

Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to tal k to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!

XD 
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This is hilarious ...

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie
Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Ca rmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)

Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

Pass around for some laughter*

XD XDXDXDXDXDXD

星期六, 9月 27, 2008

[笑話]惡作劇

一對夫妻已經結婚多年,他們結婚之後僅有的矛盾,就是丈夫有個壞習慣,每天早晨醒來就要放屁,而且發出巨大的聲音。

放屁的噪聲把妻子吵醒了,臭味使得她直流眼淚,而且引起氣喘。
每天早晨她都要懇求他,不要放屁,因為這會使她生病。

他告訴妻子,必須放屁,放屁是自然的。

她讓丈夫去看醫生,不然的話,總有一天會把內臟噴出來的。

幾年過去了,丈夫還是大聲地放屁!

感恩節到了,早晨妻子正在收拾一隻火雞準備晚餐,丈夫在樓上睡覺,鼾聲如雷,妻子看著碗,裡面放著火雞的內臟,脖子,胃,肝和所有的雞下水,突然想到了一個惡毒的詭計。

她拿起那只碗上樓,她的丈夫依然呼呼大睡,她輕輕的拉開被子,拉開了丈夫的內褲,將碗裡的火雞內臟全都倒進了他的內褲裡。

過了一會兒,她聽到丈夫睡醒了,帶著放屁的聲音,然後聽到尖叫聲和急促的腳步聲,他跑進了衛生間。妻子幾乎控制不住自己,笑得她滾到了地板上。

受了幾年的折磨,她終於實實在在的報復了他。

過了20多分鍾,丈夫來到樓下。
他說,「寶貝,你是對的。」「這些年以來,你總是警告我,我就是不聽你的。」

「什麼事情?」妻子問。

「喔!老婆你總是告訴我,總有一天我會因為噴出來內臟而停止放屁的,今天終於發生了。

不過,還是要感謝上帝,我用了一些凡士林,再用2個手指,我想我把大部分的內臟終於都塞回去了。